George Carlin's "New Rules for 2008"

New Rule: Stop giving me that pop-up ad for classmates.com. There's a reason you don't talk to classmates for 25 or 30 years - you don't particularly like them. Besides, I already know what the captain of the football team is doing these days. He's mowing my lawn.

New Rule: Don't eat anything that's served to you out of a window unless you are a seagull. People are acting all shocked that a human finger was found in a bowl of Wendy's chili. Hey, it costs less than a dollar. What did you expect it to contain, Caviar?

New Rule: Stop saying that teenage boys who have sex with their hot, blond teachers are permanently damaged. I have a better description for these kids: lucky little bastards.

New Rule: If you need to shave and still collect baseball cards you are a dope. If you are a kid, the cards are a keepsake of your idols. If you are a grown man they are pictures of men.

New Rule: Ladies, leave your eyebrows alone. Here's how much men care about your eyebrows: do you have two of them? Okay, we're done.

New Rule: there is no such thing as flavored water. There's a whole aisle of that crap at the supermarket, but without the watery taste. Sorry, but flavored water is called a soft drink. You want flavored water? Pour some scotch over ice and let it melt. That's your flavored water.

New Rule: Stop screwing with old people. Target is introducing a redesigned pill bottle that's square, with a bigger label. And the top is now the bottom. By the time grandpa figures out how to open it his ass will be in the morgue. Congratulations, Target, you just solved the Social Security crisis.

New Rule: I am not the cashier! By the time I look up from figuring out which way to slide my card, entering my verifying PIN number, finding and pressing enter, pressing the amount, deciding, no, I don't want cash back and pressing enter again, the kid who is supposed to be ringing me up is standing there eating my candy bar.

New Rule: Just because your tattoo has Chinese characters in it doesn't make you spiritual. It's right above the crack of your ass and it translates to "chicken with broccoli". The last time you did anything spiritual you were praying to God you weren't pregnant. You're just high. You're not spiritual.

New Rule: Competitive eating isn't a sport, its one of the seven deadly sins. ESPN recently televised the U.S. Open of Competitive Eating, because watching celebrities playing poker was just too damned exciting. What's next, competitive farting? Oh no wait. They're already doing that. It called the "Howard Stern Show."

New Rule: I don't need a bigger mega M & M. If I'm extra hungry I'll go nuts and eat two M & M's.

New Rule: If you are going to insist on making movies based on crappy, old television shows, then you'll have to give everyone in the Cineplex a remote so we can see what's playing on the other screens. Let's remember the reason something was a television show is that the idea wasn't good enough to be a movie in the first place.

New Rule: No more gift registries. You know it used to be just for weddings. Now it's for new homes and babies and graduations and getting out of rehab. Picking out stuff you want and having other people buy it for you isn't gift giving, it's white people's version of looting.

New Rule: (and this one is long overdue) No more bathroom attendants. After I zip up, some guy is offering me a towel and a mint like I just had sex with George Michael. I can't even tell if he's supposed to be there or just some freak with a fetish. I just want to wash my hands. I don't want to be on your web cam dude.

New Rule: When I ask how old your toddler is, I don't need to know he is "27 Months". "He's two" will do just fine. He's not cheese. And I didn't really care in the first place.

New Rule: If you ever hope to be a credible adult and you want a job that pays more than minimum wage, then for God's sake don't pierce and tattoo every available piece of flesh. If you do so, plan your future around saying "Do you want fries with that?"

"Accept the gift. Don't be afraid to call yourself Witch"
~Susan Sheppard

To the Moon
by Percy Bysshe Shelley

Art thou pale for weariness
Of climbing heaven and gazing on the earth,
Wandering companionless
Among the stars that have a different birth, ~
And ever changing, like a joyless eye
That finds no object worth its constancy?

I enjoy doing Healing Touch on others. I've completed Healing Touch Levels I, II, and III. Someday I would like to begin HT Level IV; I also perform Distant Healing. I am interested in learning Animal Reiki. Spending my time with my grandchildren, my DH, long walks on the beach under a full moon, gazing at the stars, the rain in the summer (but dislike the humidity), love the thunder and lightning, rainbows, gardening, dolphins, reading about astrology; automatic writing, counted cross stitch, tole painting, and bead work. Collections include: Angels, crystals, dragonflies, and windchimes.
I am an Aquarius.



One thing life has taught me: If you're interested, you never have to look for new interests. They come to you. When you are genuinely interested in one thing, it will always lead to something else. - Eleanor Roosevelt. And I love this: Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well reserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, wine in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming . . "Damn, What a ride!!!"

In this special moment in life . . .
Think freely. Practice patience. Smile often.
Savor special moments. Live God's message.
Make new friends. Rediscover old ones.
Tell those that you love that you do.
Feel deeply.
Forget trouble. Forgive an enemy.
Hope. Grow. Be crazy.
Count your blessings. Observe miracles.
Make them happen. Discard worry.
Give. Give in. Trust enough to take.
Pick some flowers. Share them.
Keep a promise. Look for rainbows.
Gaze at stars. See beauty everywhere.
Work hard. Be wise.
Try to understand.

Take time for yourself.

Laugh heartily. Spread joy.
Take a chance. Reach out. Let someone in.
Try something new. Slow down.
Be soft sometimes. Believe in yourself.
Trust others.
See a sun rise. Listen to rain.

Reminisce.

Cry when you need to. Trust life.
Have faith. Enjoy wonder.
Comfort a friend. Have good ideas.
Make mistakes. Learn from them.

Celebrate Life . . .

The word Chakra means "wheel " based on the Sanskrit. There are 7 main
chakras that are lined up in ascending order from the base of the spine up to
the top of the head. Below you will find the mandalas that correspond with
each chakra.



What are chakras?

It is believed that chakras are spinning energy centers that are invisible to our
vision. Many people however are able to see these chakras with their mind's
eye. It is important for these major energy centers to be in balance because
our mind, body and spirit depends on it.



7th Sahasrara (crown) Highest Center associated with merging of human with the divine, spiritual Unity and final Liberation from the karmic wheel and earth plane. Governs the Cerebral Cortex, central nervous system, and pineal gland. Colors: Violet, Clear, Opal, White, & Gold

6th Ajna (Third Eye) Center of intuition, insight, devotion to spiritual knowledge, wisdom and psychic abilities. Governs pituitary, nose, ears & eyes. Color: Indigo

5th Vishuddha (throat) Center of communication, speech, effect of the spoken word on truth, expansion of consciousness. Governs thyroid, throat and mouth. Element is Ether. Colors: Blue & Aqua

4th Anahata (heart) Center of compassion, altruism, forgiveness and acceptance. Governs the heart, circulatory system, arms, lungs, respiratory system & thymus gland. Element is Air Colors: Green & Pink.

3rd Manipura (solar Plexus) Center of willpower, Self-respect, confidence, physical energy and self-control. Governs the adrenals, stomach, liver, muscles, nervous system, digestive system and Pancreas. Element is Fire. Color: Yellow

2nd Svadhistana (sacral) Center of sexual desire, cravings, family life, harmony, tolerance. Governs reproductive organs and bladder. Element is Water. Color: Orange

1st Muladhara (root) Center of the will to survive and function in the material world. Proper balance brings courage, stability, physical health, and stamina. Governs spinal column, adrenals, colon, anus, legs & bones. Element is Earth. Color: Red

If you can't stand behind our troops;
please feel free to stand in front of them.